A Silent Epidemic

Teen Dating Violence

Although we almost never hear anything about it, teen dating violence is on the rise. Nearly 1 in 3 teens report being abused by their partners and nearly half of all date rapes reported occur among teens.

This last Thursday, September 20, 2012, Katie Couric focused on dating violence during her new talk show. Sharon and Lexie Love, mother and sister of Yeardley Love broke their silence to speak up about Yeardley's murder. Survivor Quasona Cobb spoke about her past abusive relationship, and the show also shared warning signs of dating abuse and how to get help.

Here is a link to the entire show on Katie Couric's website http://www.katiecouric.com/on-the-show/2012/09/20/sharon-lexie-love-and-dating-violence/



Yeardley Love, a young, vibrant college student was found murdered in her apartment on May 3, 2010. Two years later on February 22, 2012, George Huguely, Yeardley's ex-boyfriend, was found guilty of second degree murder and grand larceny. In August, he was sentenced to 23 years for 2nd degree murder and one year for the grand larceny, which are to run concurrently.






Quasona Cobb is survivor of dating violence and an advocate against domestic violence and sexual abuse.

Too many victims remain silent out of embarrassment, ridicule, shame, and fear. But if we don't talk about abuse, the cycle will continue. It is important to raise awareness of this epidemic.


The cycle of abuse- (picture from hearts2heal.com)

"I love you," he said, and I believed that, too. I believed he loved me so much it hurt. But love shouldn't hurt this much. -Brooke Myers from Break From You (coming soon)

Warning Signs

...Of Dating Abuse

* Physically hurting you
* Intimidation
* Possessiveness
* Blame
* Threats
* Sexual coercion or forcing sex
* Isolating you from friends
* Explosive anger
* Extreme jealousy
* Extreme insecurity
* Making decisions/ telling you what to do
* Doesn't let you talk to opposite sex
* Threatens to hurt self
* Embarrasses you in public
* Controlling
* Uses scare tactics
* Constant "put-downs"
* Always "checking in"
* Always checking cell phone, email etc. without your permission
* Tells you what to do
* Lies
* Extreme mood swings

These are just some of the signs of an abusive relationship. If you think you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please get help!

Brooke from Break From You, my debut novel on dating abuse, experiences some of these things. She easily shrugs them off, making excuses for her boyfriend, Drew's behavior. She wants to believe she has it all; the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. She wants to believe it so much she overlooks all the pain Drew causes her. She always forgives. And she loves him. Her love for him has caused her to push away her friends, and she has stopped doing the things she once enjoyed so that she can be with him. She knows it isn’t right, but she keeps telling herself that love isn’t always easy.

But...love shouldn't hurt this much.

Break From You coming soon! 



Resources:
breakthecycle.org
loveisrespect.org
cdc.gov 
 

Editing, Editing, Editing...

I have been deep in final edits and finishing up the cover art for my novel Break From You.  I am getting closer and closer...and hopefully I will have a release date soon!

But...until then I'd thought I'd give you a little teaser...


"I love you, too," I parroted, and as I said the words, my heart sank. I wanted to mean them. At one time I had, or at least I thought I had, but something was wrong, something didn't feel right. I could sense an ache deep inside me. Maybe it was anger, maybe frustration, maybe the need to forgive, but it felt more like loss. More like a sadness, as though something was missing, and I couldn't figure out what was causing it.

Brooke, from Break From You, a YA contemporary novel on dating abuse.


Coming soon.

Helping a Local Charity

Break from the silence, break from the pain...

The other day, while I was working hard  on editing my book Break From You, I received an email from a close friend. It was a call for help for a charity she has been working closely with over the past year. She informed me that they were in desperate need of food for their shelter.

The charity- The Father Ed Judy House

The Father Ed Judy House is a semi-transitional housing program designed to help homeless women with children , the majority of which are also survivors of domestic violence, find stable housing.

Due to the tightening of state budgets, the hospital that provided meals for the Father Ed Judy House had to triple their prices. The Father Ed Judy House can no longer afford these meals and is reaching out to the community for help.

For more information on the Father Ed Judy House please visit their website at http://fejh.wordpress.com/

Deep in edits, I received this email, and I knew I had to help.

It takes a lot of strength to leave an abusive relationship, especially if you have no where to go. I couldn't image standing at the front door- a roof, food, warmth, clothing- all behind me, and nothing but the unknown in front of me. The Father Ed Judy House provides a place for women of domestic violence to go, so that they are not forced to go back to a unsafe relationship to be fed, clothed, and housed.

This Thursday, a group of us are providing soup and salad for the women of the Father Ed Judy House. I am bringing the bread and butter. (The bread, however, will be store bought instead of home made, since I don't like to bake and I'm allergic to gluten. Besides, store bought bread is a lot better than anything I could ever attempt to make.) And I am excited to help!


As I continue to press forward with the edits Break From You, a young adult novel about dating abuse, I think about Brooke's struggles. I also think about the struggles and heartaches the women of the Father Ed Judy House have endured. Please spread the word, and help your local charity!

If you would like to help, please contact the Father Ed Judy House or a local charity in your area.  Let's join together and help those who are victims of domestic violence. Let's help them break from their pain and stop the cycle of abuse.

Break From You is almost ready for everyone to read. (a short synopsis below)


Break From You

Is love enough? Should it hurt this much? 

Brooke Myers wants to believe she has it all: the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. She wants to believe it so much, she’s willing to overlook all the pain her boyfriend, Drew, has caused her and forgive him for it. She always forgives. And she loves him. Her love for him has caused her to push away her friends, and she has stopped doing the things she once enjoyed so that she can be with him. She knows it isn’t right, but she keeps telling herself that love isn’t always easy. Then she finds herself lost in the middle of a burning restaurant  during homecoming dinner, and it isn’t Drew that saves her but the new boy, Cooper West. She forms an instant bond with Cooper, one Drew wouldn’t like. With the pain of a concussion reminding her of how bad things can get, she is forced to re-evaluate the abusive relationship she has with Drew and face the ghosts that haunt her. She once believed love was all it took…but is it enough? Is it truly love when you've lost yourself in it?