Hard to Say Goodbye

An excerpt from Break From You, my contemporary YA novel about dating abuse:

I questioned why I had even come, why I let him convince me of his innocence once again. What he did to me was wrong, this I knew. I had to let go. But why it was so hard to say goodbye was beyond me. I had a hard time finding the strength, even though I knew I needed to.  Maybe it was because we had been together for over a year now, maybe it was because I knew relationships weren’t always easy, or maybe it was because I knew I loved him. 

(-Brooke Myers in Break From You)

There are many reasons victims stay in abusive relationships. And like Brooke, they may not even be able to pinpoint why they stay. Brooke wants to believe she has it all: the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. She wants to believe it so much, she’s willing to overlook all the pain her boyfriend, Drew, has caused her and forgive him for it. Besides, she loves him- isn't that enough? She thinks it is. But is it truly love when you've lost yourself in it?

There is a cycle to an abusive relationship. Most victims know it is wrong, but they can't seem to escape. They easily forgive and make excuses. It could be due to fear- fear of rejection, fear of isolation, fear of loss, fear of being seriously hurt, or fear of the partner that keeps them from walking away. Or it's because of love, embarrassment, thinking the abuse is normal, or having low self-esteem. Some stay due to the pressures of peers, culture, or religion. Maybe they are pregnant or they distrust adults and/or authority. Feeling shameful about the abuse also stops victims from seeking or wanting to get help. Being dependent on the partner for money, food, or shelter will also keep many from leaving.

It doesn't matter what the reason is...breaking free from abuse is hard and takes a lot of strength. If you know someone in an abusive relationship the most important thing to do is be there for them and listen. Do not judge them. Let them know they have options and there are others who can help. 

If you are in an abusive relationship, know that there is help! 


Sometimes there feels like there is no...

Ask for help!

For more information please go to loveisrespect.org or breakthecycle.org


 

Helping a Local Charity

Break from the silence, break from the pain...

The other day, while I was working hard  on editing my book Break From You, I received an email from a close friend. It was a call for help for a charity she has been working closely with over the past year. She informed me that they were in desperate need of food for their shelter.

The charity- The Father Ed Judy House

The Father Ed Judy House is a semi-transitional housing program designed to help homeless women with children , the majority of which are also survivors of domestic violence, find stable housing.

Due to the tightening of state budgets, the hospital that provided meals for the Father Ed Judy House had to triple their prices. The Father Ed Judy House can no longer afford these meals and is reaching out to the community for help.

For more information on the Father Ed Judy House please visit their website at http://fejh.wordpress.com/

Deep in edits, I received this email, and I knew I had to help.

It takes a lot of strength to leave an abusive relationship, especially if you have no where to go. I couldn't image standing at the front door- a roof, food, warmth, clothing- all behind me, and nothing but the unknown in front of me. The Father Ed Judy House provides a place for women of domestic violence to go, so that they are not forced to go back to a unsafe relationship to be fed, clothed, and housed.

This Thursday, a group of us are providing soup and salad for the women of the Father Ed Judy House. I am bringing the bread and butter. (The bread, however, will be store bought instead of home made, since I don't like to bake and I'm allergic to gluten. Besides, store bought bread is a lot better than anything I could ever attempt to make.) And I am excited to help!


As I continue to press forward with the edits Break From You, a young adult novel about dating abuse, I think about Brooke's struggles. I also think about the struggles and heartaches the women of the Father Ed Judy House have endured. Please spread the word, and help your local charity!

If you would like to help, please contact the Father Ed Judy House or a local charity in your area.  Let's join together and help those who are victims of domestic violence. Let's help them break from their pain and stop the cycle of abuse.

Break From You is almost ready for everyone to read. (a short synopsis below)


Break From You

Is love enough? Should it hurt this much? 

Brooke Myers wants to believe she has it all: the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. She wants to believe it so much, she’s willing to overlook all the pain her boyfriend, Drew, has caused her and forgive him for it. She always forgives. And she loves him. Her love for him has caused her to push away her friends, and she has stopped doing the things she once enjoyed so that she can be with him. She knows it isn’t right, but she keeps telling herself that love isn’t always easy. Then she finds herself lost in the middle of a burning restaurant  during homecoming dinner, and it isn’t Drew that saves her but the new boy, Cooper West. She forms an instant bond with Cooper, one Drew wouldn’t like. With the pain of a concussion reminding her of how bad things can get, she is forced to re-evaluate the abusive relationship she has with Drew and face the ghosts that haunt her. She once believed love was all it took…but is it enough? Is it truly love when you've lost yourself in it?